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  • Writer's pictureGina Saler

Fuming mad? Give yourself a break

I don’t know about you but in this world of spiritual correctness, the emotion of anger gets a bad rap. We’re not supposed to get angry, feel angry, hold anger, we should be able to transcend it or let it go.

But hell it happens anyway.

And the worse thing is it hurts us the most. Physically, emotionally, maybe even sexually, financially or socially.

Everybody feels it differently. For some, it’s clenched jaws and bad sleep, others get headaches or liver pain or back-ache or a common one for women, cystitis or other menstrual related difficulty.

Then we “take it out” on others – family and friends, society. We become stubborn, argumentative, sullen or withdrawn. We stop using our energy in a wholistic way when relating with others. And that hurts everything. That really sucks because we women feel energy and like harmony and it ain’t happening which feeds more negativity into your loop of equilibrium.

Things spiral downward and suddenly a semi-contained situation turns into a cyclonic storm wrecking havoc in multiple places.

Of course this doesn’t make us feel less angry. Because we hurt and others hurt us back. Energy never lies and even if it seems all polite on the surface (no nasty words are exchanged), when you are angry, it is like a toxic dye seeping through everything in your life. So those you are curt with may just snap back at you getting you all defensive again and the cycle continues.

The point is no-one wins. And it is so easy to get locked into a stalemate.

So what will break it?

You will – by giving yourself a break.

There may be actions you need to take in your life – anger is showing you where things are not right and need attention. So that is an unavoidable step and you may hatch a plan to do this but it might take some time to come into effect.

What can you do right now?

You can love and approve of yourself and stop beating up on yourself for getting angry in the first place.

You can stop telling yourself what a bad person you are for having this reaction. You can stop spiralling downward in your own mind about your life and how it’s messed up.

You can reverse the flow by accepting you are angry, you have a right to feel angry and you still love yourself and are still a good person with many good qualities. Then think of all the good things in your life. And watch how that shifts the energy.

Suddenly you are feeling less tense, less weighty and more optimistic.

Maybe you brainstorm some better ideas to get out of the mess. More energy is available to you now.

A win win.

Now you can stop beating up on yourself and getting angry with yourself, because underneath your anger towards another, there is always anger at self. So take it easy and allow yourself some breathing room. Take back some control over the situation which can only happen when you take responsibility and turn your focus within. You have a choice.

Now you can feel better. Life then becomes better.

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